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Sister-in-law probably wants to sleep with me
notmeatloaf
post Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35
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Well I was going to write in to an agony aunt but I thought Pepipoo gives such gentle advice I'd try here first.

This is actually a true situation.

My sister in law (eight years younger) has always said she wish she could find someone just like me (and who can blame her, someone prepared to work enough overtime to cover Mrs NML's clothes buying habit).

I sort of contributed to the situation by taking her long term boyfriend out to the pub and after a few pints giving him my advice as an occasionally happily married man that he was young and shouldn't get tied down so early when he suggested making things more serious.

Turns out he's stupid enough to listen to pub advice and broke up with her a couple of weeks afterwards citing my advice.

Ever since them she has started wearing very low cut tops when I am around (swiftly changed when family arrive). Plus she has started cuddling up on the sofa with feet accidentally drifting into well filled areas.

I'm thinking I should really say something along the lines of "I'm flattered but I don't think you're the right person to have an affair with." But I wonder whether making the first move here might end up not working out if it turns out she just has a brain tumour or something and I'm misinterpreting the situation.

I've googled it and watched some movies that suggest I should sleep with her, get caught by Mrs NML but she'll be super turned on by it and join in. But this seems like a high risk strategy.

This is actually a serious request because she is an absolute basketcase and has to be rescued from her own stupidity every few weeks so not being alone with her isn't really an option without letting her die of neglect, which would solve the problem but seem to be slight overkill too.
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post Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35
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glasgow_bhoy
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 21:34
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Does she stay anywhere near Glasgow, in the 22-32 age range?

ninja.gif ninja.gif ninja.gif
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notmeatloaf
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 22:35
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24 but nowhere near Glasgow. Would probably be good with those nice wide streets though seeing as she makes a habit of crashing into things that appear out of nowhere like armco barrier, a pedestrian bridge, most of the walls with a five mile radius... maybe I'll Fedex her up.
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andy_foster
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 22:49
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QUOTE (Trampilot @ Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 12:01) *
Can't believe no-one has mentioned "threesome" ...


rolleyes.gif

QUOTE (notmeatloaf @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35) *
I've googled it and watched some movies that suggest I should sleep with her, get caught by Mrs NML but she'll be super turned on by it and join in. But this seems like a high risk strategy.



--------------------
Andy

Millenial (noun): a person who is offended at being told "Suck it up, buttercup"
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cp8759
post Thu, 8 Feb 2018 - 00:05
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QUOTE (notmeatloaf @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35) *
I've googled it and watched some movies that suggest I should sleep with her, get caught by Mrs NML but she'll be super turned on by it and join in. But this seems like a high risk strategy.

Providing Mrs NML doesn't frequent this forum, I think you should go for a blended approach, sleep with her, but not get caught. It's a much lower risk strategy.


--------------------
I am not on the "motorists's side", nor am I on the "police/CPS/council's" side, I am simply in favour of the rule of law.
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spanner345
post Thu, 8 Feb 2018 - 09:46
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As is often the case in this forum, we have lack of vital bits of info. The only solution is, someone will have to try out the wife, wife's sister and the wife's mother for you. Only then can there be any meaningful solution.



This post has been edited by spanner345: Thu, 8 Feb 2018 - 09:47


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Pastit
post Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 11:17
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QUOTE (Trampilot @ Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 12:01) *
Can't believe no-one has mentioned "threesome" ...


This. It has to be ideal with two sisters as you're bound to get 100% of their attention.
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Dwain
post Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 16:14
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Tell you wife what's happening.

Stand back

Watch the fun.
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ManxRed
post Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 17:13
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Better still, play wife rodeo.

Next time you're in the, ahem, canine position, mention it then, and then time how long you can stay on for.

Let us all know.


--------------------
Sometimes I use big words I don't understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
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Broadsman
post Sat, 17 Feb 2018 - 18:02
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My mates wife kicked him out for measuring his dick.

For reference, it reaches to the back of her sisters throat.

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notmeatloaf
post Sat, 24 Feb 2018 - 13:46
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QUOTE (ManxRed @ Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 17:13) *
Better still, play wife rodeo.

Next time you're in the, ahem, canine position, mention it then, and then time how long you can stay on for.

Let us all know.

I work in a hospital department that deals with penile fractures. I can 100% advocate avoiding them.
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Ocelot
post Sun, 25 Feb 2018 - 17:39
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QUOTE (notmeatloaf @ Sat, 24 Feb 2018 - 13:46) *
QUOTE (ManxRed @ Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 17:13) *
Better still, play wife rodeo.

Next time you're in the, ahem, canine position, mention it then, and then time how long you can stay on for.

Let us all know.

I work in a hospital department that deals with penile fractures. I can 100% advocate avoiding them.


I think that was a Viz Top Tip originally (the wife rodeo not the penile fracture).
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DastardlyDick
post Wed, 14 Mar 2018 - 20:38
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QUOTE (notmeatloaf @ Sat, 24 Feb 2018 - 13:46) *
QUOTE (ManxRed @ Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 17:13) *
Better still, play wife rodeo.

Next time you're in the, ahem, canine position, mention it then, and then time how long you can stay on for.

Let us all know.

I work in a hospital department that deals with penile fractures. I can 100% advocate avoiding them.

I didn't know you could fracture your cock!
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mickR
post Wed, 14 Mar 2018 - 22:40
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QUOTE (DastardlyDick @ Wed, 14 Mar 2018 - 20:38) *
QUOTE (notmeatloaf @ Sat, 24 Feb 2018 - 13:46) *
QUOTE (ManxRed @ Fri, 16 Feb 2018 - 17:13) *
Better still, play wife rodeo.

Next time you're in the, ahem, canine position, mention it then, and then time how long you can stay on for.

Let us all know.

I work in a hospital department that deals with penile fractures. I can 100% advocate avoiding them.

I didn't know you could fracture your cock!


I bet you wife could tho
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bobthesod
post Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 10:16
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If i have read this correctly

The item in question is his Sister in law

IIRC that is either his brothers wife, or his wifes sister ( happy to be corrected)

As the prefix Ex is not in front of the definition, it stands to reason she is married?

So what is the OP taking her LONG TERM boyfriend to the pub for?.. doesnt the husband have something to say about this or has he buggered off?

And if he has buggered off why is the OP still 'friends' with her

either way, OP is looking for for legitimate reason to dip his wick

There is more to this than meets the eye

I think the deed has already been done and he needs the Pepipoo Cavalry coming over the hill


Fnnnaaarrr.....Fnnnnaaaarrrr
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notmeatloaf
post Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 11:07
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I try and have as many conversations as possible at the pub. It means if the conversation turns out to be boring you can just think about beer instead.
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spanner345
post Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 11:35
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Amongst other things I think about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiVB3nOIrUA constantly.


--------------------
ARSE DRINK FECK........



DRINK MORE
TOILET DUCK
50 mls vodka
50 mls Red Bull
330 mls Blue Wkd
25 mls tequila
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andy_foster
post Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 19:18
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QUOTE (bobthesod @ Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 10:16) *
If i have read this correctly

The item in question is his Sister in law

IIRC that is either his brothers wife, or his wifes sister ( happy to be corrected)

As the prefix Ex is not in front of the definition, it stands to reason she is married?

So what is the OP taking her LONG TERM boyfriend to the pub for?.. doesnt the husband have something to say about this or has he buggered off?


Were you born this stupid, or did you have to take lessons. The sister-in-law is clearly his wife's sister, and is not married.


--------------------
Andy

Millenial (noun): a person who is offended at being told "Suck it up, buttercup"
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bobthesod
post Fri, 16 Mar 2018 - 22:53
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Andy


How charming

Typical Reading resident
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