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Sister-in-law probably wants to sleep with me
notmeatloaf
post Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35
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Well I was going to write in to an agony aunt but I thought Pepipoo gives such gentle advice I'd try here first.

This is actually a true situation.

My sister in law (eight years younger) has always said she wish she could find someone just like me (and who can blame her, someone prepared to work enough overtime to cover Mrs NML's clothes buying habit).

I sort of contributed to the situation by taking her long term boyfriend out to the pub and after a few pints giving him my advice as an occasionally happily married man that he was young and shouldn't get tied down so early when he suggested making things more serious.

Turns out he's stupid enough to listen to pub advice and broke up with her a couple of weeks afterwards citing my advice.

Ever since them she has started wearing very low cut tops when I am around (swiftly changed when family arrive). Plus she has started cuddling up on the sofa with feet accidentally drifting into well filled areas.

I'm thinking I should really say something along the lines of "I'm flattered but I don't think you're the right person to have an affair with." But I wonder whether making the first move here might end up not working out if it turns out she just has a brain tumour or something and I'm misinterpreting the situation.

I've googled it and watched some movies that suggest I should sleep with her, get caught by Mrs NML but she'll be super turned on by it and join in. But this seems like a high risk strategy.

This is actually a serious request because she is an absolute basketcase and has to be rescued from her own stupidity every few weeks so not being alone with her isn't really an option without letting her die of neglect, which would solve the problem but seem to be slight overkill too.


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My username is notmeatloaf because I'm not made of meat loaf. I hope that clarifies things.
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post Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:35
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southpaw82
post Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 22:35
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QUOTE (DancingDad @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 22:02) *
QUOTE (southpaw82 @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 20:53) *
I do divorce too (I’m reassuringly expensive).


Any good on defending grievous bodily harm after Mrs NML does a John Wayne Bobbit on him ?

I’d give it a stab... a bit like her...


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Redivi
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 09:36
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You're sharper at spotting come-on signals than I am

I failed to recognise them when one of my wife's friends answered the door in a robe and invited me to continue the conversation in the bath
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spanner345
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 09:55
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QUOTE (baggins1234 @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 17:08) *
Can you post a picture of her? rolleyes.gif

Personal details redacted of course....

I agree, the only way we can give meaningful advice is to have lots of photo's


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DancingDad
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 09:56
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It does remind me of a joke....

Basically the same situation where younger sister of the hero's beloved was not only attractive but kept seeming to be willing.
It came to a head one night when they found themselves alone together and she made it clear that she wanted him, touching him, telling him then making her way upstairs, shedding clothes on the way.
Our hero found himself standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at a naked young lady who was beckoning him to follow.
Without a word, he turned, pulling his car keys from his pocket and walked out of the house.

To find the rest of the family on the drive, his beloved smothering him in kisses, her father slapping him on his back, her mother hugging him.
It had been a test and he had passed.

In hindsight, leaving his condoms in his car had been a lucky move.
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notmeatloaf
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 13:07
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Well I had a look through Facebook because obviously I wanted to choose the photo that would reveal the best advice.

Then everything went t1ts up and I couldn't do anything for a few seconds.

This post has been edited by notmeatloaf: Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 13:07


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My username is notmeatloaf because I'm not made of meat loaf. I hope that clarifies things.
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Jlc
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 16:43
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'One hand surfing' does have drawbacks.

This post has been edited by Jlc: Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 16:43


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RK=Registered Keeper, OP=Original Poster (You!), CoFP=Conditional Offer of Fixed Penalty, NtK=Notice to Keeper, NtD=Notice to Driver
PoFA=Protection of Freedoms Act, SAC=Safety Awareness Course, NIP=Notice of Intended Prosecution, ADR=Alternative Dispute Resolution
PPC=Private Parking Company, LBCCC=Letter Before County Court Claim, PII=Personally Identifiable Information

Private Parking - remember, they just want your money and will say almost anything to get it.
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Ocelot
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 22:32
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I'd sleep with her if I were you. That's what I do when I fancy people. Oh, I have to drug them first of course, being so old and warty.
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Redivi
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 22:59
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If they're both asleep, what's the problem ?
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notmeatloaf
post Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 23:15
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QUOTE (Redivi @ Mon, 5 Feb 2018 - 22:59) *
If they're both asleep, what's the problem ?

No chance both of them staying asleep the way Mrs NML snores.


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My username is notmeatloaf because I'm not made of meat loaf. I hope that clarifies things.
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Lodesman
post Tue, 6 Feb 2018 - 11:50
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Many, many years ago, when such things were likely to happen, I developed the ability to deliberately misread the situation, usually resulting, much to my amusement, in a very angry woman flouncing off.

Infinitely preferable to me waking in the morning with essential bits missing which, knowing her well, I am pretty certain would have been the result if Lodeswoman ever got wind of it.

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Neil B
post Tue, 6 Feb 2018 - 14:37
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I can't help thinking of your other thread 'who pays for screw up - -'.


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QUOTE (DancingDad @ Fri, 11 May 2018 - 12:30) *
Neil is good at working backwards.

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mickR
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 10:32
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Notmeatloaf...... have you had a go on the mother in law yet? Or is she No3?
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Redivi
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 11:03
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QUOTE (Lodesman @ Tue, 6 Feb 2018 - 11:50) *
Many, many years ago, when such things were likely to happen, I developed the ability to deliberately misread the situation, usually resulting, much to my amusement, in a very angry woman flouncing off.

Infinitely preferable to me waking in the morning with essential bits missing which, knowing her well, I am pretty certain would have been the result if Lodeswoman ever got wind of it.

I've usually found that mentioning my wife in favourable terms a few times in the conversation results in a loss of interest without causing offence
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facade
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 11:05
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Just tell Mrs NML, then she can sort it for you.

The bonus may be that she sorts out her sister's messes herself to keep you apart wink.gif

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Trampilot
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 12:01
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Can't believe no-one has mentioned "threesome" ...
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albert2008
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 13:11
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QUOTE (Trampilot @ Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 12:01) *
Can't believe no-one has mentioned "threesome" ...


mate tried but they ran away together,
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vinba
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 13:36
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QUOTE (Ocelot @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 16:49) *
Try calling Jeremy Kyle? biggrin.gif


or even better.. Kylo Ren!


QUOTE (mickR @ Sun, 4 Feb 2018 - 17:00) *
I would suggest asking for a BJ and if it's no good tell the Mrs her sister is losing her sanity. rolleyes.gif


She might mishear and arrange an encounter with Boris Johnson..

This post has been edited by vinba: Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 13:38
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Lodesman
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 14:02
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QUOTE (Redivi @ Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 11:03) *
QUOTE (Lodesman @ Tue, 6 Feb 2018 - 11:50) *
Many, many years ago, when such things were likely to happen, I developed the ability to deliberately misread the situation, usually resulting, much to my amusement, in a very angry woman flouncing off.

Infinitely preferable to me waking in the morning with essential bits missing which, knowing her well, I am pretty certain would have been the result if Lodeswoman ever got wind of it.

I've usually found that mentioning my wife in favourable terms a few times in the conversation results in a loss of interest without causing offence


But not nearly as much fun !!
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notmeatloaf
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 18:48
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No go with the in laws, they have to stay together to keep two other poor sods from being miserable.


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My username is notmeatloaf because I'm not made of meat loaf. I hope that clarifies things.
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mickR
post Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 18:53
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I wasn't suggesting involving the FiL but if it floats your boat.. rolleyes.gif

While rather drunk at a party a friend son told me he had split with his gf. I said oh that's her isn't it he said no it's her sister, I've went out with her before.
I found this to be hilariously funny (as you do after many pints) I then asked if he'd considered the mum. Not sure quite why he didn't find it so funny ?

Also in my younger days a friend sent all evening try to get off with a rather nice girl but got knocked back late on. He then tried his luck with some more "mature" ladies and pulled one off he went smiling. Next day in pub I said how was it? Well he said great night got up early coz her bf was coming over and went to make a coffee. Heard a noice turned round and it was her daughter, the same girl who'd blown him out at the club.

This post has been edited by mickR: Wed, 7 Feb 2018 - 18:59
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